In the Midst of an Addiction
by Holyblondecheerleader
Summary: Thor's addiction has spiraled out of control and Loki gives him an ultimatum: get clean or leave. But who knew in all this hell that Loki could have a chance to fall in love. That is if Thor would allow it. It was Tony after all; Thor's sponsor.
1. Chapter 1

Thor can feel the heat of the sun coming through the window and hitting his face. The heat from the light warming his cheek and causing it too change into a hue of red. As he turns his face towards the wall that he slightly remembers being there he opens his eyes to see a woman lying on back, breasts exposed. He stares at her for a moment with light concern making sure her chest still rises and falls. When he sees that she's still breathing and well alive, he slowly makes his way out of the stranger's bed. He realizes that he isn't wearing any pants on; or underwear. He scans the room, but all he sees are his pants and a shirt that is obviously not his. He puts both on ignoring the suspicious stains. The woman on the bed stirs and Thor freezes in his step watching her for a moment. The woman looks up at him and stares at him, but seconds later she rolls over and lays her head back down on the clearly stained pillow. Thor lets out a breath that he didn't know he was holding and exited the room.

Now that he was fully aware of his surroundings, he saw that the house he was in was disgusting and he cringed at the thought of the bed he had stayed in and avoided every possible surface at almost every turn. He's been in this situation many times before but he could never get used to the all the filthy things he sees. He always tells himself that he would never do it again, but he somehow ends up doing it all over again the next day. He hated himself. He hated this addiction. He hated the things he's done to his family, and yet he still does it. He still sticks that needle into his harm and embraces the things that it does to him. Thor knows this addiction is going to take his life. That's why he continues the abuse. He's given up.

Thor finally finds the front door and gets outside as quickly as possible and thankfully his phone is still in pocket. He flips it open and find his brother's number; his picture alongside it. He stares at the number and the picture and wonders why he chose the picture he had did. It was the only picture of Loki on his phone; he was smiling. And the thought came to him_: I'm doing it again_, he thought. _I'm hurting him_. He closed the phone and walked a few more blocks before he attempted calling his brother again. This time he pressed the green button without hesitation. His heart raced faster with each ring.

"Thor?" he heard the familiar voice say on the other line.

Like every morning Loki gets up at 6 am. He doesn't even need an alarm anymore. His body just tells him to wake up and he does. When he pulled his legs over the bed, his feet hit the cold wooden floor and it sent a shiver up his spine, but he liked it. He welcomes the cold as always. As he stood, he could hear every bone pop and crackle, every muscle stretch and strain. The floor creaked as he walked to his bathroom. The tile floor was cool and refreshing against his feet. Loki turns on the shower to a reasonable heat and strips off his clothing, neatly folding them and putting them on the counter. He slowly steps into the shower and lets the water drizzle down his chest. He stands under the water for a long while before he finally turns around to get his hair wet.

Loki liked his hair. No. He loved his hair. He remembers when he was a child; Thor would run his fingers through it because he was fascinated by how different it was from his own. Thor had thick long blonde hair, while Loki's was the complete opposite: shoulder length thin hair that was dark as night. They were so close back then. Loki sometimes daydreamed what it would be like if they still were. He imagined having BBQ's on the weekends with his wife and children or going fishing on Saturdays. If only, he thought. _If only._

After his shower, he sets the coffee pot to brew and heads out to get his morning paper. When he opens the door, it's still dark out and there's a bit of fog from what he could see. He leans down for his paper and shuts the door. His coffee will be done soon so he sits at his table and waits. He opens his paper and begins to read when he hears his phone in the other room. He jumps up and runs to his room. When looks at his phone, he sees Thor's picture and sighs. The sigh is mixed with relief and annoyance. "Thor?"

"Yeah. Hey, can I get a ride? Sorry to call so early." Thor's voice was harsh and tired. Loki knows exactly what he's been doing.

"Of course. Where are you?" Loki tries to keep his annoyance at bay so he doesn't upset his brother.

"Downtown. On the corner of 6th and James Street."

"Alright, I'll be there in a few."

"Thank you. I'll pay for gas." As Loki went to say bye, he heard a click knowing the other had hung up. He knows he won't pay for gas. He never does.

Loki's hair was still wet and when the breeze hits the back of his neck, it gives him a case of goose bumps and he shivers pulling his coat closer to him. He used the remote on his keys to unlock the door to his car. When he gets in he types the location Thor gave him into his phone and waited for the directions to pop up. He knew the neon proof was a bed one, but he knew if he didn't get to Thor someone else would and that always set heavy on his mind. Ever since they were young, Thor always seemed to get into trouble, but Loki was always there, ready to use his slick tongue to get Thor out if it. And Thor hardly ever said thank you. Sometimes Loki thought Thor actually wanted to get into a physical fight with someone. Like he wanted to get hurt or even worse.

Loki didn't want his thoughts to roam that far so he started his car and drove off into the direction his phone told him to. The sun was starting to come up and it's like he can slowly see the world starting to wake up. He loved that sensation.; like he was the only person up at this hour. That feeling was short lived when he saw his brother sitting on the curb with no shoes on. Loki drives up beside him and Thor climbs into the car. "Hey". Loki said with hesitation. Thor just flashes Loki a quick fake smile and looks back toward the passenger side window. Loki sighs and drives off.

"So where am I taking you?" Loki knew it was most likely going to be a druggie's house, but at least he knew where he would be.

"I was actually hoping that I could crash at your place for a while." Loki could tell Thor had been dreading to ask that question, and Thor knew Loki wouldn't say no, but Loki had to set an ultimatum. The worst Thor could say was no.

"Of course," Loki saw Thor smirk and continued his sentence. "-but you have to go to NA meetings." Loki saw Thor look at him in the corner of his eye. Thor was mad, and he had the right to be, but Lokis' tired of being walked on.

"You can't make me go to those meetings."

"I'm not making you go, Thor. I'm giving you an option. Go to the meetings and stay in the guest room and take a shower, which you desperately need, or not go to the meetings and stayin a stranger's dirty house. Your choice." Loki took a deep breath, satisfied with the way he stood up for himself. Thor on the other hand was disturbingly angry. Loki kept running all Thor's options in his head and each result ended up with him in a stranger's dirty house.

"Fine." Thor said with defeat. Loki wanted to pull over and hug and kiss his brother. Never before had he agreed to do something like this before and it made Loki remarkably happy.


	2. Chapter 2

When the two of them arrived at Loki's house, all Thor wanted to do was lash out at Loki, but Loki has giving him a place to stay and all he had to do was attend a few meetings with people whining about their lives and addictions. Just knowing that he wasn't alone should make Thor feel better, but it didn't and he had no idea why.

"There are some clothes in the dresser drawer in the guest room from the last time you stayed so you'll have some clean clothes to change into."

"Thanks." Thor tried to say without an attitude, but ended failing.

"I have to head to work. I should be home around five. There's also some left over Chinese in the fridge if you get hungry."

"Okay", was Thor could say, but Loki still didn't seem satisfied. He stood by the front door with his keys in his hands ready to go, but he still didn't leave. Thor knew why. "I'm not going to steal anything, Loki. I'm not that desperate." when indeed he was that desperate, but it was best that Loki did not know that.

"I wasn't going to say that!" Loki said offended

"But you were thinking it." and Loki didn't even deny it. Thor didn't blame him. He just wished that Loki wouldn't beat around the bush because that just makes him more agitated.

"I don't want to argue with you, Thor. I'm just trying to help." Thor knew he was, but his pride and ego were too large to admit to it.

"Whatever." Thor said as he threw himself on the couch. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes wanting to let himself drift away from reality, but a few moments later he heard Loki's footsteps coming toward him. Seconds later a hand was on his shoulder.

"I don't know how to help you, Thor unless you tell me how." Thor could hear the hurt in Loki's voice. He was glad that he had his eyes closed or else Loki would see the mist in his eyes.

"I'll tell you as soon as I know myself." He heard his brother sigh and begin to walk away; he didn't like hurting Loki, but sometimes hat was the only way to get his point across.

-—

This time Thor can say he woke up in a familiar setting. He can smell the washing detergent that Loki uses on all of his clothes in the pillow. He can smell the incense that Loki puts in every room of the house. All he can smell is Loki and it makes him feel very much at home and more inmportantnly, he feels safe.

Thor doesn't know how long he's been asleep but he knows its dark out, so it's either still early or very late. He turns is face over toward the nightstand and the clock reads 9:30 p.m. Fantastic he thinks. He pushed himself off the bed and headed toward the kitchen. "Loki?" He yelled. When no one answered, Thor went to look in his room and see if he had come home and went straight to bed, but when he opened Loki's door there was no one in there. Loki's bed was neatly made and undisturbed. He shut the door and moves on to the living room. It to was empty, but he saw a res blinking light coming from Loki's answering machine. He didn't know whether to play message or not considering it wasn't his, but he pressed the play button anyways.

_"You have one new message."_ Thor was startled by how loud the volume of the answering machine was.

_"First unheard message." _

_"Hey Thor. I tried calling your cell, but I think it's shut off. I just wanted to call and tell you that I'll be home a little late, so don't worry. I'll try again later." _

_"End of messages." _

Thor just shook his head and pressed the delete button. Loki would be the one doing all of the worrying. He just called to check up on him and Thor felt himself getting angry at the though so he proceeded to the kitchen. Thor opened the fridge and there was one small white box on the second shelf waiting to be eaten. When Thor opened the box, he was a bit saddened that was only half full. Hopefully Loki will stop somewhere on his way to work and grab something else.

He put the leftover Chinese in the microwave and typed in two minutes. While he waited, he leaned up against the counter and scanned his house. Thor had never actually looked around observed Loki's house before. Everything was so clean and organized. There we a book shelf by the front door filled with old and thick books. There was modern art and pictures of them as kids. He remembers some of the pictures. There was in particular one with them on a boat. Loki was holding one end of a fish and Thor had the other. Neither one them claimed to be their own because it the two of them just to reel it in. That was a good say, Thor thought. The alarm for microwave went off and it startled Thor bringing him back to reality. He opened microwave a cloud of steam cane after it.

He grabbed the box, being careful since it might be hot, midway out the microwave; he felt some glide across his back leg making him drop the box. Chow mien went all over the counter and drooped into the sink. Thor cursed loudly and turned around to see the culprit. It was cat. Loki had a cat? Thor thought. The cat had short pitch black fur and its eyes we're just as green Loki's. Thor kneeled down and put his hand out so the car could sniff him. It slowly moved toward him, but Thor laughed, the bass in voice scaring it making the cat retreat to its hiding space. Thor shook his head and smiled at the fact of how much it reminded him of his brother.

A few moments later Loki walked through the door. He looked tired. His hair wasn't as smooth and in place as it usually was and his tie was loosened.

"Hey little brother. Bad day at work?" Loki jumped at the sound of Thor's voice.

"Why are all of the lights off?"

"I have a headache."

"Oh, right." was all that Loki could say. Loki walked into the dining room and set his stuff on the table and pulled up a chair. Thor knew Loki had something to say and Thor knew that whatever it was it was probably going to upset him.

"I found a nice place that holds NA meetings. There's one tomorrow at ten the morning. Would you like to go?"

"Well I don't want to go but I will." Thor didn't even look at Loki when he answered. He felt like he was being bullied into going, but it was himself that got himself into this situation, not Loki's.

"Thank you, Thor." Loki said while smiling. When he looked in the kitchen he saw the chow mien on the counter and in the sink.

"What happened in there?"

Thor looked in the direction Loki was looking and remembered his mess. "The cat," Was his excuse.

When they pulled up to the clinic, Thor thought it looked dull and boring. The outside of it was painted in an eggshell white and At the top there was a sign that read grace place. He watched as other people entered the building and it reminded him of his first day of school. He was so mad because Loki still wasn't old enough to attend school yet and he didn't want to go in all by himself.

"Are you ready?" Loki asked. Thor nodded and got out the car then proceeded toward the building.

"Call me when you're done!" Thor just waved him off and kept walking.

The inside of the building was more welcoming than the outside. There was a nice blue theme to it and Thor wasn't into flowers but it made the place smell so fresh. He didn't know where to go so he followed a few people that he had saw come in before him. Before he even reached the door he saw a sign that read "narcotics anonymous". He must be in the right place. Surprisingly the room was quite full. There were men and woman. Some of whom were currently still high.

Just like the first day of school, Thor sat in the back. He could feel himself sweating. He didn't know whether it was because he was nervous or if it was because he hadn't gotten high in almost 24 hours.

"Welcome everybody!" Thor's eyes darted to the front of the room where a short man stood. He was wearing a purple button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and he wore glasses. He looked to be a little older that Thor.

"It's nice to see some new faces, so I'm going to re-introduce myself. My name is Bruce Banner. I've been a counselor here at grace place for about 10 years now and sober for 12. I'm not here to tell you what to do or how you should live your life. I'm here to help guide you to sobriety and remember that you can leave at any time. You don't have to be here if you don't want to. Now are we ready to start?" A few people their heads and Bruce claps and smiles.

"Alright, let's begin."

Bruce handed out some cards which had the 12 steps on each of them. He picked 12 people to read aloud each step. Thor felt thankful that he sat in the back because he only chose people further up front, but the next part of the meeting was sharing. A few people went up and shared for third experiences and struggles. Some people cried and teared up, but Thor sat in his chair stoned faced.

The whole meeting lasted about an hour and a half. It wasn't bad, but Thor doesn't think he could do this every week.

"Now before I end the meeting, raise your hand if you would like to be a sponsor." several people raised their hand. Thor thought maybe he should ask one of them to be his sponsor. It would make Loki happy he thought.

"Alright, now if you would like a sponsor, ask one of the people who just raised their hands. Have a nice night and see you next week."

Thor saw a man with sunglasses on who had raised his hand. He didn't know is why he was going to ask him to be sponsor but he looked easier to talk to than the other people who did. Thor swallowed his pride and proceeds to ask him.

"Hi, my names Thor. I saw you raise your hand and I wanted kno-"

"Yes. I'll be your sponsor." Thor barely finished his sentence and the man said yes.

"Oh, ok. Thank you. What's your name?"

"Anthony Stark, but just call me Tony.


End file.
